What have I done wrong?

I know things I've done wrong, but that's not what I'm asking. Briana seems like she hates me or is just mad at me. And I know her well enough to know even if I don't stop asking she wouldn't tell me the truth. I hate girls. Why do they have so much power over me? Why am I so unlucky to fall for girls much too good for me? Why an I so ugly and unsocial? That's my problem. I'm an eye-sore. I may act nice but that can't make up for rotten (literally) looks. And then the maggots on the meat is I'm so antisocial. I'm completely fine sitting in silence. I can't think of things to say. Literally, my mind goes blank whenever I'm talking to people. And then when I do say things it's completely stupid or hurtful. That's why I've stopped talking- cause I've made too many mistakes when I've tried. Wanna know how bad I am at talking? I can't even carry on a conversation through electronics. I'm so retarded. I'm not good at anything. Im alright at a lot, but I don't stand out in anything. I'm not even good at being a hermit cause I whine and complain all the time. You know it's bad when you're annoyed of yourself. I just want all this to end. I need to get a grip- a hold on my life and actually do something for once. I'm so screwed over, and I'm scared of it.