From the heart

From the heart is where all truth comes. The mind is the place of fear and lies. When we open up our hearts, we open up ourselves
-Edward Matthews

I really need to stop caring so much. Stop worrying so much about my friends. Cause every time I do, I feel like crap. I feel worthless and useless. And it's because there's nothing I can do. I feel sick inside, because I can't help. I feel horrible, because I can't help. Not being to help my friends brings everything crashing in on me. It unbalances my mental see-saw. My logic is lessened whilst my emotion is increased. I don't think straight, and I just get deeper and deeper into despair. I hate myself for not being able to help. I feel like a horrible friend because there's nothing I can do. It ruins me, scares me, sickens me.

Another thing. I hate asking if someone's alright when I know they're not. Because I feel stupid and it opens it up for them to lie easier. But I have no idea how else to go about asking it. I have no clue how to present it other than "Are you doing alright?" I just dont. And I hate it. Hate it hate it hate it.