As a way of clarification

The more I think about the things I say the more I fear that what I felt was clear and understandable was not taken in the way I mean it. So as a way of clarification, and a way to ease my concious and of those that may have misunderstood what I said I will better explain myself. 

First of all, my life really isn't as bad as I may make it seem. I really just use the blog as a venting place. Ergo I really only post to complain about stuff. Which is happening less and less because I have an amazing best friend, and because I'm trying to change my life view to a more optomistic and hopeful one. But like everyone else, I have my rough points. And since I feel bad for burdening others with my woes, and I feel uncomfortable doing so, it's easier for my to do it to a relatively unknown audience. Its nothing against the merits of my friendship with anyone. It's just the way my messed up brain functions. To go into further detail of what I stated at the begginng of this paragraph the things I complain about are usually few and far between occurrences. To go into specific example of what I mean take my last post. In there I said something to the effect of not being able to handle dealing with a person but doing it anyways for them. That is not even close to common. Yes it happens once in awhile, but I have issues handling everyone, including myself. Just because it happens very rarely in no way means that you just hurt me. It's quite the opposite really. For this specific case I must say that at least 99.8% of the time I absolutely love interacting with you. It's that rogue two tenths of a time that I don't. And the number is shrinking. One of my biggest fears (and things that I constantly worry about) is that those whom I say can tell me anything don't feel like they can because of something I may have said or done. It absolutely terrifies me. When I say that you can tell me anything I mean it. And I feel bad when I feel like people don't feel comfortable doing so. 

I guess what I want the takeaway to be from this here post is the things I complain about here aren't constant. They're usually very rare, and are actually growing rarer. Please, to whomever may read this, do not generalize my complaints into an average occurrence. Because that simply isn't true, otherwise there'd probably be a ton more posts on this blog. I'm human, and like everyone else, I have my rough patches of life. I don't really always understand my own emotions. And I hardly think before I act. But that doesn't mean that I don't care about my friends. Just because I think about the future too much even though I may sometimes have no idea how I want things to go doesn't change that fact. Nothing will. I care about my friends, despite my flaws. And I honestly mean it when I say my friends happiness is worth so much more than my own. That's just the way I view my life and relationships. 

So please remember these complaints are only temporary blips on the graph of life. I really am truly lucky and grateful for all I have, especially the fact of how great of a best friend- and other friends in general- I have. Please keep that in mind in relation to all I may complain about. Please.