Summer, life, things in general

So, since school is about to start, I figure I might as well talk about my summer. And keeping in pattern with my previous posts, I'm going to be pretty blatant, I guess is the best way to say it. I'm going to speak my opinions plainly, because I have no fear of people actually reading this because I'm super awesome and people don't care about me. Kind of an oxymoron I know. But still, that's how these things work.

So, really all I did this summer comes down to 3 or 4 things. 1) I did marching band 2) I had a Biology 1090 class 3) I sat at home all day super bored. Number four is a sometimes thing, that happened on rare occasions, and it was I hung out with friends. Which usually came down to playing magic the gathering for a few hours. It was a super fun summer, let me tell you. And you know, I questioned a lot of things. Like how true my friendships are. Because, it seems to me that the people I call friends are more like school friends than true friends. They're people that you see once in awhile, someone you talk to once in awhile, and that's it. You don't really do anything with them. That's all fine and dandy, because I'm super lame and can never think of anything to say/do, but how do you think I got that way? Because I never do anything with people. Or you know, I just lucked out with my cup from the gene pool and I got a large mesh of socially awkward genes. Which is probably the more likely case. But nevertheless, it kind of super sucks.

One thing I have learned this summer is that I kinda super duper suck and conversations. My mind just goes blank (which isn't hard for it to happen) and I have no idea what to say to continue conversation. It sucks, because sometimes I just need that human contact, and I have absolutely nothing to say, so the conversation just dies.

One thing I've pondered as I've tried to figure out what is wrong with me is maybe some parts of my personality matured to fast while others didn't mature fast enough, and that's why I can't seem to feel like I fit in. Maybe that's how it is with teenagers in general, but maybe parts of my personality went opposite than normal people went. Who knows? Not I. Something to think about I guess.

May I just say, sometimes girls, and people in general I guess, are more trouble than they're worth? Especially when they don't care about you, and your mind is flooded with them, despite how much you try to stop it? Yeah, it kinda sucks, especially when you're a super awkward socially retarded average kid like me. Oh the joys of life.